Colibri EaD
Signs He Might Not Be as Straight as You Think
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Yesterday, we helped the fellas figure out means for determining if they were dating a bustdown.
Chi-town stand up.
Well, today, it’s the ladies turn. For whatever reason, so many women swear they can tell if a man is gay just by looking at him or talking to him, etc.
Many women are wrong. Sure there are the guys out there who are essentially on fire and i’m not talking Cedar Block Piru either.
But those aren’t the type of men that most women are getting caught up with. Lots of men out there have a reputation and a lifestyle to protect. Those are the men I’m speaking of – the fellows who look and act like every other straight man you know.
So today, I will offer up for you a few helpful tips to help you avoid taking the walk down the Green Mile with a chap who is probably checking out your momma AND daddy.
And this ain’t the list with: He drinks with his pinky out or wears lots of pink. Nope. Too easy drill Sargent, too easy.
We’re looking a little deeper.
Allons-y.
1) He casually makes references to how attractive popular male actors are.
This is kind of a deductive reasoning thing, so follow me. Look, I know that any secure ass man can make comments about how another man is put together…pause…and it not have to be gay. But most of us probably won’t because we don’t want anybody to be questioning our sexuality, gay men included. And we know that women know this, so in the event that we do make mention, we’re probably going to stumble over our statements in attempts to make sure you realize that we’re not gay. We’re men; we’re stupid. Sue us. With that in mind, any man who despite all of this will continuously reference how attractive they think Morris Chestnut or Will Smith are is probably sending you a signal.
If he tells you that if he were a woman, he’d sleep with Brad Pitt, well, my guess is he’d do it as a man, because he’s already thinking like a woman.
Capiche?
Capiche.
2) He’s up on all of the latest skin care techniques and body oils and such.
This one might seem a little sketchy but peep game. Men are masculine. We like to get clean and smell good…for the ladies (unlike shoes — which we get for other men to envy ). However, despite most of our efforts in this department, most of our skin care regimens are limited to soap, water, and cologne. Some men get manicures and pedicures and despite finding it a wee-bit suspect, I won’t call shenanigans there. But a brotha who knows his different Aveda cleaners (and I’m kind of assuming Aveda is a soap brand) and knows what exactly it means to exfoliate and does it regularly and likes to discuss with you your skin care regimen and he isn’t a dermatologist, well…ya know. F*ck it, any man who needs more than soap to fully clean and wash himself just might be washing some other brothas back on Tuesdays.
Hey, controversy sells.
3) If all of his favorite songs are generally by women, for women, and about women (a la Ne-Yo’s catalog), well he’s probably got a wide stance.
If your man gets uber-crunk every time “Single Ladies” or “Closer” by Ne-Yo comes on or even sings any part of a song that specifically references the term “girlfriend” with much vim and vigor, and with more than you, even while riding in the car, then you just might want to be wondering about him. Hell, if he actually likes all female rappers (most of them actually do suck — most) or if he gets particularly excited about Foxy Brown’s Ill Na Na, well, he’s probably gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
***BONUS***: If he gives a sort of wayward, slightly limpwristed dap AND ISN’T FROM DC.
For some reason, dudes in DC (under 21-natives) generally give some of the GAYEST dap I’ve ever seen in my life. If you’re in DC, just watch some local youth males dap each other up. It seems suspect, but that’s just how DC gets down.
Zing!
If he’s from other states or territories (including Puerto Rico, the U.S.V.I., and Guam) though, watch out.
It was written.
So, what else you got?